| the time has come.... |
[21 Jun 2005|08:53pm] |
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) all_my_lovin
i MIGHT update this one every ONCE in a while...but i think i have moved on...i sometimes change my mind so this isnt carved in stone or anything.
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| my new song....damn weezer....damn |
[19 Jun 2005|05:51pm] |
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mood |
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 hungry |
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music |
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weezer - perfect situation |
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What's the deal with my brain?
Why am I so obviously insane?
In a perfect situation
I let love down the drain.
There's the pitch, slow and straight.
All I have to do is swing
and I'm the hero, but I'm the zero.
Hungry nights, once again
Now it's getting unbelievable.
'Cause I could not have it better,
But I just can't get no play
From the girls, all around
As they search for someone to hold onto.
I just pass through...
Tell me there's a logic out there.
Leading me to better prepare
For the day that something really special might come.
Tell me there's some hope for me.
I don't wanna be lonely
For the rest of my days on the earth.
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[19 Jun 2005|09:36am] |
oh my god i am sooooooooooo hung over. yesterday i went to the latino festival that was in columbus Ohio, and it was so fun, i got totally toasted, wasted and ate tamales, and then i went to this place called Jimmy V's where i got even MORE wasted.
i drunk dialed a few people
my cousin
emiko
ashleigh
grimm
but only emiko called me back. boo
soo ooo i had a crazy ass dream last night that made me homesick as hell because the whole dream was about me trying to get away from people who were trying to make me stay in americorp forever, and all i wanted to do was go home. weird. i need to go back to bed because i feel like shit.
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[18 Jun 2005|12:45am] |
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mood |
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 SMASHED! |
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my head is spinning A LOT! and i cant type very weel l i dont know oman i am so drunk that its fucking diridcouls. mmmmhmmm. i dont know i went to jummy v's and D hooked me up with some shots for me amdnd my ameigos and it was awsome some tenison was had at the dinner talble but its all good because me and gretch are cool as shit broah! fo reals peace out and word ot your \mother for shizzle my nizzle peace i just placed a joke on mother fucking mike that bitch as mother fucking mother fucker i cant fucking believe what a mother fucking mother rfucker that mother fuck er is. fuuuuuuuuck this mother rfucker is TASTY! "fuckin told yo ass"
mr pickeles fun hous abortion clinic! we'll bring out the kid in ya!
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[14 Jun 2005|07:09pm] |
hey anyone going to be in the DC area on july 22nd 2005? come see me graduate americorps!
on a side note...i need to take a shower...yup
on ANOTHER side note i finally got out A LOT of what has been bothering me these past 21 years of my life...and it was all to gretchen i told her things that i had for realz never told anyone and its so weird because she is so easy to talk to and so understanding its riginalous. well i should go shower and all that shit. i hadn't really updated in a while...and i guess this wasnt REALLY an update either....i was kind of sad that i missed campsite 13 so we are going to HAVE to have another one HELLO! alright peace out G's
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| sliic (pronounced slick) |
[12 Jun 2005|11:32pm] |
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mood |
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 exhausted |
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Self
Loathing and
Issues with
Intimacy and
Commitment
this weekend was interesting...i told gretchen things that i had never told anyone before...it was an interesting greyhound...(yes i did break my vow that i would never again ride the greyhound)
i opened up to her like she was barbra walters...
i know a lot more about my "sliic" and yeah...why i will most likely be alone forever. the end.
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| THAT BIATCH! nessie you are soooo lucky i like you! |
[10 Jun 2005|05:15pm] |
Not because you have to, but because you WANT to! Things you enjoy, even when no one around you wants to go out and play. What lowers your stress/blood pressure/anxiety level? Make a list, post it to your journal... and then tag 5 friends and ask them to post it to theirs.
1. sleeping
2. laying around smoking weed
3. drinking with gretchen at a bar/resturant
4. talking to my mom
5. livejournal...most of the time
6. getting my pay check....all of it.
and i tag ihaveasianbooty, punkdan, genobum, sandycheeks, godofvanity i think those are my only friends...minus those who don't update and those who weren't on molly's list already.
ps. i am going to go see grimm in washington PA this weekend! yaaaaaaaaay!
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[07 Jun 2005|08:12am] |
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mood |
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 aggravated |
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i dont care anymore...i dont. after nine months of never missing anything, never being late to anything, being very dependable and a hardworker and you miss ONE PT and uh oh you have to be scared for your life because SOME people think that PT is like the best thing in the world and that anyone that doesnt go...should be ...i dont know...eaten by lions. they suck.
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[04 Jun 2005|12:31am] |
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i am so fucking druink its do toooo ridculous! like whoa i dont even know i mean fuck i am in columbus i mean who would have ever thought that i would be here getting drunk with some people thtat i have never met in my entrie life! like for shizzle iliek that is totally dridiculous! jusuese HJ christ! i dont know man i gotta go to be d other\wise i am gonna be a wreak! so i have to go [peace out i aiwill right about this later! peace!
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[03 Jun 2005|06:29pm] |
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mood |
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 restless |
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can we be lj friends again?...
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| stairs |
[31 May 2005|11:24pm] |
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i live in a monestary...with the oldest elevator in Ohio...it doesnt work sometimes so SOMETIMES i have to walk up 5 1/2 flights of stairs...it sucks...PLUS i have been swimming and bowling like everyday...today i bowled 129 it was awsome. anyway i gotta go pick up my team leader from the airport see ya!
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[29 May 2005|03:36pm] |
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myspace you have taken control of my life...and now i hate you.
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| today |
[28 May 2005|10:53pm] |
well...
-i woke up at 8:50 and took a shower in the girls shower room
-got dressed and met my team at the main stairwell infront of where the brothers and the fathers sleep.
-ate breakfast and then went to the game room
-sat around and made bracelets with kids.
-drew a picture of our team for a little boy who was SO adorable!
-watched some kid movie about an alien dog.
-had a bbq with the kids
-sent the kids off.
-got a voicemail from Grimm...quite dramatic
-called Grimm and talked to him for a while.
-bowled in the bowling alley for like...8 games with mike.
-went swimming with kristen in the olymbic sized pool for like 2 hours.
-sitting in the office on the computer writting in my lj
oh yeah...i live in a boys and girls club/monestary
its the biggest boys and girls club in the nation
we have free access to their pool, and bowling alley...and whatever else we want really.
we all have our own bedrooms with a bed, dresser, desk, sink, mirror, A/C, chair and jesus.
it rules...but sucks at the same time because we have like 23904280329842093 rules we have to follow...example...its 2 minutes till 11 so i have to be in my room. SUCKS
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[28 May 2005|09:40am] |
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in columbus...lost my voice...at a boys and girls club...um..yeah thats pretty much it. i went to the first FIRST wendy's yesterday...that little girl in real life is quite...um...a looker...*clears throat*
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| anxiety attack again. |
[25 May 2005|05:06pm] |
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mood |
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 horrible! |
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so i guess my team knows that i am a crazy.
i had an emotional/physical breakdown in the hall today. most of the afternoon i was pacing around SORE as fuck, and barely able to breath...it got a little bit better but my body is still really sore. i got into the hall way to ask someone what i had to do for these photopages thingys....and someone was like "are you ok?" while they were explaining it to me so i had to come out and say "you know what...i'm having a panic attack...and this use to happen to me all the time, but it hasnt in a long time so i am not dealing with it really well...and to be perfectly honest i have no idea what you just said" we all had a little akward laugh and then she started to explain it to me again, and i proceded to break down and cry. my legs were shaking so bad that i thought my cell phone was ringing. i feel like hell, and i have this crap i have to do like pack and clean my room AND do my laundry (not in that order). my whole body is sore but all i want to do is get on the bus, get on the metro and go to a bar ANY BAR and drink the night away. but in reality that doesnt seem like a good idea at all. tons of people are driving me nuts and i dont know what to do about it. maybe its just the attack.
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[21 May 2005|02:03pm] |
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so i walk into the village and get greeted by people saying "so carmelita heard you have a boyfriend"...goddamn news travels fast.
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[02 May 2005|02:20pm] |
wow a lot has been going on in the world of carmelita.
i made a new friend in town. his name is Grimm and he is one of the funniest motherfuckers i have ever met in my either life. he is such an asshole and i heart him so. i was hanging out with him around 8 on saturday and we didnt part till monday morning. well...THIS morning at like 3 in the morning when we both passed on my couch watching a movie.
i have officially dubbed him my girlfriend and he loves playing along. he like makes people in wallmart think that we are together. like he was buying a VCR and this lady had to get something infront of him and he sorta tried to bend his back back but he couldnt and he said "sorry i cant bend that way anymore, right honey?" i got all embarrassed and started to laugh and the ladies that were working were laughing at us. then i said "oh my god...how embarrassing" and he said "oh its ok, thats why you love me."
he is really sad that we are leaving in three weeks so i got him this box of chocolates as a joke, it has this girl on it that says "boyfriends come and go but chocolate is forever".
he is a stoner who has a full beard SORTA like this kid i knew in high school Quinn.
we've been hanging out like everyday and i have been hating him every morning because he would bring me home at like 2 in the morning and i would have to wake up at 6:15.
work has been ok besides being really tired most of the time. and i cant help but wish that the project was longer just because i have a new friend and i really would like to FINISH this house that we have been working so hard on. hahaha i said hard on....wow i'm immature. so i gotta go but i'll catch you all on the flip flop LATER.
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[25 Apr 2005|01:20pm] |
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mood |
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anxious |
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back in PA me and kristen are just kickin it old school style. a lot of baby mama drama has been going on with the team but its not worth getting into because i will just get all frustrated and cry about it. just kidding....sort of.
i called my mom last night because i was all confused about what to do with my life and all that jazz. i had my team leader interview today...which i thought i totally bombed but mike said i did a great job. he said i did a better job than holly.
so i talked to my mom and pretty much i'm deciding not to take the job in Virginia because i am not finalically secure. ALTHOUGH IF by some freakin mircle i got the team leader position, i would do that, otherwise its hello santa cruz once again. it would be nice to be able to catch up with friends hangout with emi, (oh how i miss that) and be with my family especially now that my father is so sick.
home...wow...for a while i thought i wouldnt be able to do it...ever again....full time student, part time worker, and experienced young adult. thats me.
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[16 Apr 2005|01:04pm] |
i'm here at the central AA office with my mom making this news letter because well i am faster at computers then she is.
i got to california on wednesday morning at like 1 in the morning. my parents took me to this local 24 hour food place called Normas where i spent many hours after plays, after smoking, after hours, afternoons, etc. they proceded to tell me that Venus Ran away from home and had been gone for months. so i cried for a while and got mad at them for not telling me about something important AGAIN.
i went home and got some shut eye. the next day i went to the high school and had a chat with DAVE. I also stopped by to see Ms Mendez who was so excited about what i had been doing in AmeriCorps that she wanted me to come by and be a guest Speaker in her Goverment Classes/Economics Classes. so i spoke for what seemed like forever but i got better and better at it. so it was fun, and it was fun to just be able to TALK about AmeriCorps and have people listen to me...and not think "god you talk about that too much" or something lame like that.
after i left the high school on my first day back i stopped by the flower shop and saw emiko and bill, it was so great to be able to see emi! i missed her so!
we went to go see the high school play that night with my dad, and then we went to molly's house because they were throwing me a party. THANKS AGAIN MOLLY!
let's see...who was there???
Dan, Cheeks, Carrey, Molly, Lonnie, Gouker, Michael, Miguel, Lauren, Emi, Me, and some guy named...um...wesley?...sure. we drank and i got completely wasted i kept kissing dan on the cheeks and head. he giggled. and of course i was encouraging cheeks and emi to make out!
we left the party after emi sobered up a bit.
on Thursday night i went to go see my brother's play which was just AWSOME! i wish i could have seen it again before i left but it was great. emiko and mario came with me to see it. yay!
my parents missed me so much that my mom cant even hug me without breaking down into tears.
i go. so i have been hanging out with them a lot. today is a day with mom. i am suppose to go bowling later, she wanted me to invite someone else because well she doesnt like to bowl and i dont want to bowl alone! so i invited emi to come with me.
last night i also saw my cousin priscilla who is doing well.
so all and all my trip to california was great and i finally got to see the ocean thanks emi and i saw the friends that i missed the most, i got to spend time with mi familia and it will only be three more months till i can come back to the warm califonia sun (BOARDWALK!) peace out!
ps. it was also nice seeing Geno and sorry you didnt get to come to the party...i know it was quite a journey away :(
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